Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize