No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
