I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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