omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
