do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize