Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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