I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
