i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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