My liver just broke up with me...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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