Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
