I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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