I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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