his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
