So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
