Me too!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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