You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
