Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize