that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
