I CAN MOONWALK!
I cockslap morals
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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