How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
