How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
