please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
