Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
