I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
