ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there's paper in my vomit.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
