can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
