You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
