I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
birth control should be required to get into college
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
