This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
