She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
