He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
