I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
