the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize