I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
