No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
