I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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