just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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