her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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