oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
soo... how was my night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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