so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize