Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
