Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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