I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
