Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
