it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
