I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
