Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize