That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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