when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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