her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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