ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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