I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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