i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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