i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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