Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
