she was so not down for the gang bang
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
