Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
