just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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