Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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