dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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