giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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