I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
