saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
PANTIES FOUND
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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