Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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